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Remember when you got married? Everything was superb since you were in love and were loved. Life was perfect as you anticipated a lifetime of marriage happiness and a life full of love and happiness. Your marriage promises were so important as you gazed into each others eyes understanding you would be together as long as you both shall live. You did not expect to be thinking how to avoid divorce.
What happened? Now one or both of you is thinking or threatening divorce. Wedded life is not what you anticipated and your boyfriend/girlfriend turned into a husband/wife. The love you once shared is never talked about and certainly never felt as you drift farther and farther apart. You did not understand that being together for a lifetime could seem so long.
Unhappy weddings are not rare. Sadness at times starts on the honeymoon and sometimes years later. It may come suddenly or creep up on you like old age. Many of us have stared in the mirror and thought who that old person is. It's like that in wedding when you gaze at your partner and wonder who that stranger is. Certainly, that's not the person you married....
But it is and you may be in love and happily married all over again with a little combined effort. Avoiding divorce is possible. Do not even mention the D word until you have given it a honest try to revive the flame which was once there. Stare closely and I am sure you can see a little spark now.
You have in fact been told that to have a happy marriage you must communicate. So, start with talking. Whatsoever has been the cause of your problems talk about them frankly and honestly. What have you got to lose? Converse and negotiate. A good life is learning to cooperate since it will not always go your way. Do not allow the wind blow you away but bend a little.
Both of you bring to the talk table all the things you want to see the other do to save the marriage. Do not just be negative. Note down things that annoy you but also list things which give you happiness and make you happy. Take the list seriously and realize it now.
Do not let the list limit your actions. Make ways to make your partner feel special and loved again. Tell them in a short note that you love and appreciate them by means of email or a phone call. They can be busy so do not hang back. Say sweet nothings and leave them wanting more. Marriage should be pleasurable and filled with humor. You are more likely to stay together if you laugh together.
Get closer. Touch each other. When you pass, kiss their neck or ear or clutch their hand. Do things together instead of watching TV. Special interests together offer an opportunity to do more talking, bonding and recollecting why you loved them in the first place. The bottom line here is to be friends and lovers. When admiration returns so does love and when you love somebody you may avoid divorce.
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